After Danielle’s cancer diagnosis in April 2012, I took the roll of carer although it wasn’t until after the August operation that my role would become a major role in my life.

Danielle suffered a lot of pain especially from the back after the cancer diagnosis.

Her medication quantity became unmanageable for her. She was able to do less and less, so I took over the primary role of looking after the house as well as Danielle.

Driving back and forth to appointments, visiting her in hospital and keeping her updated with the latest diagnosis as Danielle did not take in what was being said at the appointments.

I had lost my job earlier in the year and although I was still looking for work, I had been able to take her to the appointments.

In July 2012 we made the decision for me to become a full time carer. I was managing the household and after her operation in August 2012 Danielle became less mobile so I had to push her in a wheel chair.

A few weeks after her Chemotherapy started, we were effective looking into a black hole not knowing where to turn.

Eventually we spoke with a MacMillian Nurse and she referred us to the Hospice North Northumberland.

In December 2012 we starting attending the cancer support group in Alnwick. We were also referred to an activities group run by MacMillan in Blyth.

Through Danielle’s journey I have supported her and also had time for myself eventually volunteering at the Hospice in Alnwick.

I have been involved with the Amble Food Bank and attending meetings at Carers Northumberland.

My priority has been Danielle, whether it be at home, on a break together, visiting her in hospital or any of the meetings we have been asked to join through cancer involvement.

Obviously this becomes difficult when dealing with bad news, operations or just bad days at home.

The worst instance of this was when Danielle’s lung collapsed and I was called at home to say the surgeon wanted to speak to me and could I come in asap. I said I would be there in an hour or so.

After 3 hours of waiting, and going to the nurses station twice, the surgeon came to see us. He said Danielle was not breathing on her own, what do you want us to do as she had a DNR in place. I replied what would normally happen? They said they would take her off the breathing aid slowly and see if she will breathe on her own. I replied if she doesn’t? They replied they will try again and then revaluate. Luckily on this occasion she started to breathe on her own again 

The Pandemic came a close second not being able to visit Danielle in hospital at times, having to just drop her off for programmed procedures or only being able to contact her via text.

Meetings became zoom meetings and the country rallied around the NHS.

The Pandemic gave us time to be together while also being supported by local people and agencies. We did adult colouring, internet courses on crime and looking up family trees.

I officially retired last year not from caring for Danielle, but really was able to retire early to help Danielle on her Cancer journey.

I know there will be only one end to this journey but we have taken it together.

The NHS has been fully supportive Danielle and me.

Over the years I think for the most part the NHS has learned from past mistakes.

There is a lot of help out there and sign posting has always been an issue.

There has been a rise of dementia services and the decline of cancer serves in this area. Restore the equilibrium there is enough resources for both.

Bill Cruickshank